Wednesday, August 24, 2011

In The Arms of the Angels

I have music rolling around in the back of my head, I am almost grounded...somewhat rested..
In The Arms of the Angels

My heart is mangled with unresolved sorrow
Mourning for so many all at one time,
Denied a sufficient grieving for the Lost Beloveds
Now they all bear the same face in facets…
One side furry, one side winged sweetness.
I still hear the music they both made.
One side a husband, the other my red-headed friend
Good friends, Tribe. Chosen Family.
Childhood friends saving one anothers' lives repeatedly throughout the years
in one form or the other.
To lose so many so young.. When did we get that old?
And now every song holds a special meaning,
Every wing beat holds a special lesson,
I cannot help but internalize the pain, the loss, the sorrow.
And when I try to sing it out, my voice curls up inside me
Like some small wounded beast fluttering within my heart.
Its' small sharp teeth gnawing away
with only a small squeak of tears emerging from the darkness of my heart
And that’s where the music has always come from.
I miss them.
I don’t believe it.
It cannot be that they are gone. It cannot be.
They are still here with me.

>^,,^< 8-25-2011

Because I love you always..
It's been 52 days since my Dear Friend Sam Goldstein died. I think I am almost ALMOST ready to write about it.. To allow the depths of my despair, my sorrow, my loneliness, my heartsickness to trickle through the *cyber ink* of the words I shall choose to release. And also to finally FINALLY attempt to reach out to the Joy, the Flight, the deep and abiding Love I have and will always have for my Friend.
It's amazing, Sam. The love inside, you take it with you. See ya.
Sam Wheat's quote about love ... From Sam Goldstein to Sam Malstead... and back again...

Red Tail Hawk above us

In August, my Dear One Kevin lost his battle with cancer. He died two days before I got down to San Diego for Sam's Memorial.. I had planned to visit with him wile I was down there.

Kevin & Francie on Cookie Day

But as another friend told me, Here Comes The Sun


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