We get so busy with our lives, making the mortgage, paying the bills, working at a job -- even if you love it --in order to pay those bills, trying to make a Refuge from the Worrisome Ways of the World, working to make a sanctuary in one's own One Mile Radius... We tend to forget what makes us happy, we tend to forget what makes us smile, we tend to forget the little things in life, and sometimes, we tend to forget the ones we love, both past and present. It is definitely in self-preservation. We must shield ourselves sometimes.
But sometimes, life throws us a curve ball, and we swing anyways. I took my new puppy Nihki out for an off-leash run Teaching with my Spirit, up in the Top Yard. She was driving me crazy inside the house, and I thought "OOOO I shall wear her out with FUN!" I snapped a bunch of pics, and then we got caught in the deluge. After about an hour --me drenched, the puppers drenched, neither of us caring much, after all, we are not made of spun-sugar-- we hei'd ourselves back to the house.
I got out of my sopping wet clothes into some dry warm ones, and fixed myself some food. By that time it was 3 pm, and I had forgotten to eat, AND forgotten to take my Advil, so I was hurtin' for certain. As I fixed this yummy sandwich --on home made wheat bread, with ripe avocado, tomaties, clover sprouts and sharp cheddar cheese-- and some green tea, I was overcome with memories of my Grammy, and the lunches I made her. Extra yummy sandwiches filled with as much fresh produce as I could stuff in them, because she was anemic I added spinach instead of lettuce. because she wouldn't eat her veggies, I stuck 'em in her sandwich! And she used to rave about my "special" tea, (I always added a shot of Cap'n Morgan's Spiced Rum, to help cut her pain, and make her mellow)
I miss my Grammy. I hope that where she is now, she knows I did my best, and that she'll forgive me for the times I didn't quite make it to my best. I am so grateful for my friends, for my Tribe, and for my Family.
and now, me's'a gonna eat that sandwich.