Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Winter Wonderland Dreams

As I meander about Wolfdancer Creek, land of magic, soil of the sacred, sleeping deeply in the embrace of her Lover, Winter, there are things I notice... I rarely ask myself the "why" of them. Why is that?

I make my way down to the pond, camera in hand, fresh batteries, new roll of film.. The sun is out, and it hovers above the 2' of standing snow which blankets our Sanctuary. I find myself carefully placing my returning steps in the footprint of any other preceding footstep.. It maximizes the pristine areas of untouched snow.. It magnifies the wee scratchings of bird tracks, of cat feet hopping daintily through the drifts. Of the paths of the snow ducks, as they trek to the frozen pond, there to lay yet more tracings of life, of survival. When I miss, or when I simply must forge into untouched snow, my feet sink into the first layer of snow, cotton snowfall, then check as they hit the 1" plus thickness of ice overlaying yet another, deeper foot of soft powder snow with a ...

(I'm not ADHD, it's just that.. OOOH! Look a bunny rabbit!)

AH Sunday I wish my camera'd had batteries! There was a sheen of ice languishing across the body of snow, possessive, enveloping. Like a cellophane dress on a Supermodel, upon every tree's twig, every individual needle of the big Grandfather fir, every strand of wire, every upright surface clung a sheath of ice. The trees moved in a slow, sensuous Dance of the Veils, amidst the castanet music of ice melting, and diving back to Earth's arms. The sun danced across the surfaces of the crystalline veils of ice and sparkled amidst the branches of the trees like festoons of diamonds. I grieve for the loss of these pictures, now I must attempt to draw upon each line and detail from the photobanks of my memory.

I still maintain a child's delight in the snow. I recognize the extra work involved, the loss of income, the nagging worry about how the bills will be paid, the terrible inconvenience, and in some cases, the dangerous beauty. I am pragmatic in my acceptance of all those things, and yet...

and yet...

I still feel the breath stop in my chest when I see these things, when I see snow falling, fat, luscious, sensuous in its' descent, in its' primal maleness of possession. I still feel that sudden gasp upon seeing free-ranging water frozen in its' free-falling state... The liquid sexuality of water captured by Medusa's Gaze.. I still see Fairy Goddesses and Great Elven Lords standing shoulder to shoulder in the Christmas tree fields, I still see Ice Queens perched dramatically upon their Elysium Thrones, I still see a Snowman Farm. There is something cellular in my appreciation of the sights and sounds of snow and deep winter storms, of Ocean storms, of water in whatever form She chooses to take.

What does it mean, these ponderings? Am I an Eternal Petra Pan? Am I the Grasshopper to others' too busy to see's Ant? Am I too ethereal to take seriously? Am I too serious to take ethereally?

I wish you a Merry Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Blessed New Year!


spookydragonfly said...

Kat...I just love reading your posts!! We are two of a kind...I have all these thoughts going through my head, just as you do. Sometimes, I am certain that I'm too much of a dreamer or "thinker"(not sure that's an acceptable word!) I wonder where these insignificant thoughts comes from? Perhaps, we are just very attuned to life itself..and maybe these thoughts are very significant. For what reason, I'm not sure...at least I know now, I'm not alone in my thinking! I wish you peace and love, Kat, Merry Christmas!!

HappyMouffetard said...

What a great post. It sums up how I feel about snow, too.

Have a great christmas and a happy 2009.

Kat Wolfdancer said...

Both of you, SpookyDragonfly & HappyMouffetard! May Bright Blessings light up your life! May you always feel a Child's wonder at the beautiful, magnificent, glorious muddle of images that make up This Wonderful Life. :~) Merry Christmas! & Happy Gardening! (when we get to get to that part!)


Barbara said...

Kat, your words evoke my memories of those days, the coldest days of the year, when I would bundle up and take a waddling walk thru the woods. Everyone thought I must be insane but, something was calling to me, someone wanted me to experience the glory of winter in ways few could or would. At least, that's the way it was where I grew up in the New Jersey Piney Woods.

I remember walking up to the trees and knocking the ice off the branches, just so the limbs wouldn't break... or fall on someone's head.

Then, I got to California and I fell in love with the mountains and the palm trees, the coyote's howling, and the flocks of sea birds I never knew in Jersey.

This world of ours is such an amazing and beautiful place. I'll never understand why so many fail to realize that.

I can sit here and look out over the valley and the hills, see everyone's horses grazing in the winter greenery, see the fog roll in and dance across the mesas, and my eyes start to mist up and my heart wants to burst out of my chest. Such beauty. It will never stop awing me just like it will never stop awing you. We have been gifted with eyes that see and hearts that feel. What more could we ask for?

Oh, Oh, it's finally snowing! It's snowing in the high desert! Oh, this is sooo rare! There's snow on the mesquite and my agaves! Oh, shoot. Got to get the coats on the horses! Oh, but, they're dancing! The horses are dancing and prancing! Gods, thank you!

Love ya, Kat.